The prose of Issue 1 of Chaz's dark and adult graphic adventure series recently got some remarkably good feedback at
www.authonomy.com, despite it being only the first part of the story, and without any of the integral artwork and design. The text was included in an online anthology entitled 'Read With Mother' (Part 2). Chaz has since departed that site, having not enough time, sadly, to do justice to his fellow writers' works, but came away with some great comments for the first part of Bosch and Aldaraia's twisted adventures:
FrancesK wrote:
"Angel of Vengeance - loved it. Though I can't see how it will translate into a graphic novel - will you leave out the descriptions? I'd give this 5 stars for the wing removal scene alone. That really got to me, having been an angel in the school nativity play age 5 and being unaware of anything - the audience, the other actors, the story - because of the intoxicating rustling of my enormous wings. Cool stuff, Chaz!"
Iso Nuys said:
"I can easily see an audience for this kind of novel, Chaz. The very beginning feels a bit of a trek at times. I like the informal interjections, but at the same time they do take you out of the moment. I think it probably gives you a bit of leeway to streamline some of these (the more biblical) first passages and get things moving a little quicker. There’s no doubt it’s nicely written, but the formal tone can feel leaden.
The wry humour works. The introduction of Bosch is wonderfully played out. I would give some consideration to what he is able to narrate and what he clearly can’t have witnessed first-hand. ‘This is where I come in,’ comes after a passage of description, and so the reader thinks, well, how does he know what just happened then? This is a very promising and fun read."
Bunderful said:
"This read like a cross between Danielle Trussoni's "Angelology" - and Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman's "Good Omens" - but darker. A combination of graphic yet lyrical description, comedy and sex. I'd like to see where you are going to take this... "
JS Watts said:
"I like the shift from epic, biblical language into chatty everyday demon.. Although written as a graphic story, it worked well as just pure, un-illustrated, and very smooth prose. The story had my attention and the characterization of Bosch worked well and was amusing. Not surprisingly, it is a very visual piece of writing.
Apart from a few nits note below, my only gripe is that it is clearly an extract. I like my short stories to have a beginning, a middle and an end. This has a beginning and a middle but no proper ending. I was left wanting more, which is a good thing, but I missed the satisfaction of a good conclusion. It isn’t really a story in its own right, but it is good writing."
The 'RWM' discussion forum, for those curious enough,
is here. You can also sign up to the site for free - Chaz thoroughly recommends the site for those who enjoy reading and critiquing others works, many of which are of an astoundingly high standard. (Be wary of the 'popularity contest' culture therein, however.)
Issue 1 is still avilable for download as a full PDF file
right here.
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